It’s easy to doubt yourself. I can’t hold this plank any longer, I’m not fit enough, I’m a slacker for not working out, I’m too stupid for this grad program, so-and-so thinks this-and-that about me. Sadly this is the short list of the thoughts that creep though my head sometimes. My first grad course has really thrown me right in. It’s not the material that’s tripping me up, but I’m embarrassed to admit, the group of students and professors are a bit intimidating. They all seems to have a background in sustainability or some kind of environmental studies; already active participants with projects going on in their community; already involved and knowledgeable. I, on the other hand, am brand spanking new to all of this and have already learned so much in the first three weeks [love that aspect]. I was getting very frustrated today and felt that I was so behind the game on this stuff. Our paper topic proposals are due on Tuesday and in discussions everyone had these super specific policy changing topics, while mine was more general and analytical. Then my friend forced me to go to a vinyasa yoga class and I’m so happy I did.
[no cute ‘outfit of the day’ pics on this blog – this my ‘almost passed out FOR REALZ’ during yoga face. I know. I’m pale.]
The instructor reminded us that you shouldn’t compare your progress with those around you, or try to do the textbook perfect pose. Stay on your own pace, challenge yourself, and if you get unfocused it’s not a failure. Just recommit to your practice and start from there. As cliché as it is, it’s all about your own journey. Wasting time comparing, getting unfocused, stressing about what-ifs. You just need to recommit and realize your capable.